College is a unique time in our lives during which we experience many "firsts." We may be living on our own for the first time, feeding ourselves for the first time, paying bills for the first time - wholly accountable to no one but ourselves. For some, this period may also include our first serious loss. As daunting as the college experience may be, it's made even more so when we're faced with grieving the death of a loved one. We often don't yet have the tools to emotionally process that loss. Our friends may not understand. And we're isolated from the support group we've spent our lives leaning on - our family back home. All this is made even more difficult by challenging college courses.
I entered into this project from a place of personal experience, I understood what I was asking of those who agreed to participate, and I was aware that my role was that of a listener and of a supporter. What I didn't know, was how many people this project would touch.
Each person shared a cherished photo of their loved one, worked with me on a portrait session, and allowed me to photograph one item that they hold dear because it reminds them of who they lost. During the interview portion of the project they described their loved one, told me many stories, and explained why they had chosen their item.
Jillian Felton poses for a photo with her grandmother. Courtesy of Jillian Felton.
MSU student Jillian Felton was close with her grandmother, particularly as a child. “When I was a kid I had sleepovers all the time with her. She was my best friend really during the early years. I was so shy and was the quietest of my siblings and would go there sometimes to feel like an only child,” said Felton.
MSU student Jillian Felton poses for a portrait outside of her co-op house in East Lansing on April 22, 2021.
MSU student Jillian Felton wears her grandmother’s necklace on Feb. 26, 2021. “I chose her chain she always wore. She’d ask me to help clasp her necklaces and I remember clasping that very one for her,” said Felton. “I have little reminders of her all the time but that necklace is very special to me and reminds me of her.”
MSU student Kayla Robinson’s grandmother passed away during Spring Break last year, shortly followed by her uncle who passed a week later. Robinson was close with her grandmother, an ally in what was often a toxic household.
MSU student Kayla Robinson poses for a portrait near Wells Hall on April 17, 2021.
MSU student Kayla Robinson colors a sketch of a tattoo she intends to get in honor of her grandmother in West Holmes Hall on April 23, 2021. The design includes wings with peacock feathers, her grandmother’s favorite animal, a quote reading “She had a place in this life,” dates, and “Love Nana” written in her grandmother’s handwriting.
MSU sophomore Nicole Sceglio’s father was a physician at Henry Ford Hospital where she suspects he contracted COVID-19 from one of his patients. Sceglio’s father passed away on Sept. 2, 2020. “I found out on the first day of school and I didn’t really go to school for like a month because I was just in a really depressive mental fog. I considered dropping out,” said Sceglio.
Although she admitted that her coursework was an occasional buffer from her grief, Sceglio added, “It was hard because I would get kind of flashbacks and it would be a problem when I was trying to take a test or do an assignment. Some days I was just too depressed to get out of bed. My professors were very understanding with time extensions, I was like ‘I honestly can’t do this today’ and that’s the truth. I’ve never felt like that in my life.”
MSU sophomore Nicole Sceglio poses for a portrait in the W.J. Beal Botanical Garden near the main library on April 23, 2021.
Nicole Sceglio holds a comfort cross on the balcony in her apartment on April 24, 2021. “My dad has one in his casket and it matches mine, they cut it in half. It’s smooth on one side and rocky on the other because it represents our bond. The bonds might have been roughly broken but they’re never gone” said Sceglio. “I keep it in my room on my nightstand. It’s like he’s still there. He’s still a presence in my life.”
